Tuesday, June 17, 2014

sometimes noodles are just noodles.

just popping in for a quick note. typos be real.
and here's a little reality of it-takes-me-awhile-to-get-things-done...
all photos in this post are courtesy of the effervescent and gifted wonder talent superstar that is melody davis. she took them for us over a year ago.
don't judge.
...

all those things we should've done and we never did.

I, for one, am sick and tired of all the judgement.
how about you?

i feel judgement all around, all the time, about everything.
and why does everything have to be about something bigger?

sitting on my floor just now (not now for real, but now when I first started writing this), with my hefty toddler snuggled tight against my chest and chin, he insists I stay present with him, locking eyes with me and pressing his lips against mine over and over and over and over. I am smitten with him.

my eyes see past his shoulder to my dining room floor, littered with dried noodles.
you see, even now? i am ashamed to even type what they actually are as if writing dried noodles makes them sound all fancy hoighty toighty. truth is they be kraft dinner noodles.
because if I write noodles then you can surmise they could be gluten-free, free-range egg noodles, organic kamut enriched noodles, handmade artisan rosemary and lavender noodles, or any beautiful outlandish combination that makes me sound more worthy somewhere.

but screw it, they're KD.
good old, out of a blue cardboard box, fake neon-orange powdered cheese, dried gluten-filled kraft-mother-freaking-dinner noodles.

phew! and I am oddly relieved, to be honest.

but I digress -- i feel judged by their presence on my floor.

1. I haven't vacuumed them up.
2. therefore, I am bad.
3. my kids eat garbage.
4. because I am bad.
5. I am a bad mom for letting my kids eat garbage.
6. I am a bad mom for not vacuuming them yet.
7. they are not organic, gluten-free, dairy free, or even nutritious.
8. they are were one of the only foods my sensory-sensitive little son will would eat.
9. GMO? yuck.
10. dead babies used in kraft foods or some other equally disgusting BS fear tactics.  

you eat what? don't you KNOW what they do??

screw you, judgement.
i ate it when I was a kid, my grandparents and parents fed us KD and we enjoyed it, they didn't appear to be crappy parents just because we ate KD. so stuff it. jerk.

and now, somehow -- I feel better.




the presence and judgements surrounding these innocent noodles are representative of a bigger scene playing out in our day-to-day lives, and it is sucking our joy. it is sucking up so damn much energy to worry about freaking noodles that we are kept from DOING BIGGER THINGS IN HIS NAME.
like we are being bombarded constantly by how we aren't measuring up as moms, as wives, as Christians, as human beings--and I don't know about you, but a great deal of it paralyzes me.

I feel at a loss as to what to do, what the next step is.







for now I will take the snuggles and the toddler smooshing squishy puckered up lips with me as he holds things so close to his face to sweetly study the details.

do you have any words of wisdom?

but this I do know:
when I work and dance and sing until I sweat and chop vegetables and fling laundry and place food on the table that is good and we eat together and I have a definite job and task and I grab ahold of it with relish and complete it and am actively involved and moving and effective....?

well, those days just shine.
but what do you do when your child would rather scream and flail than eat?

feeling a need to hang lights in my backyard and have a solid fence and just sit out there with my babes and calm the heck down. and if he will eat the KD? well Imma gonna feed it to 'im.

and refocus on this:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Phillipians 4:8

mm, those are good snuggles. his lips are squishy. sweet little Bub.




let's go outside and stop looking at those stupid noodles.
can't vacuum right now while the baby (actually, the entire household but me) is asleep anyway.

be quiet, cobwebs.

they're just noodles.



4 comments:

  1. You are an amazing mom! Realize how much you pouring your time, energy and love into your kiddos is worth. It is gold. They need YOU, their daddy, and heaps of love. Everything else is secondary! My son is only 10 months old, so I can't even use him as an excuse...I made myself kraft dinner the other day. And I ate the whole box.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's like God is using you to talk to me. Thank you for your truth.

    ReplyDelete
  3. first time caller.. long time listener :)

    life is about balance and stability.. you have both of those :) .. and you seem real and honest.. the people/friends/life that make you feel this way over something as silly as KD.. boo to them! they have their own things to sort through.. this whole judgmental obsession over EVERYTHING is so tiring! I experience it every day and its just too much.. and something of one thing is not good.. these will be the children sugar crashed and running to fast food and candy every second they get.. instead of a nice balanced life of both.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. My goodness.

    This.

    Goosebumps. Eyes welled with tears.
    Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou.
    Thank you for writing.

    ReplyDelete

make no mistake, I am smitten with your words. please say hello, or pour something out - you will make my heart happy.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...