Thursday, May 24, 2012

on having it all together.

Do you ever wonder about those women who seem like they have it all together?
Do you have it all together?

I don't.

I'm not supposed to have it all together. And guess what? Neither are you.

If you are sensationally organized, joyful, full of love for your family and have no idea what I'm talking about--bless you. Bless you in your wisdom. Pray for us who aren't as far down the road yet.

Somehow there's a sense that as women, as mothers, as wives, we need to know that we aren't the only ones who don't have it all together. We need to hear it, read it, see it, or realize that someone else also doesn't have it all together just to validate that, in fact--having it all together is a myth, a fictional un-reality, and a home-wrecker. Or heart-wrecker, depending on your perspective. 

Sisters? I am here to validate you today. Nobody has it all togetherI don't know anyone who really has it all together when they have young children underfoot, or are being really honest. Even the ones I think have their lives beautifully organized, their faith is to be admired, they are active in community, their homes are clean and beautiful, their children (young or grown) are well-mannered, well-spoken, well-dressed, and their marriages are a thing of beauty--those women will still speak of struggle, of strife in other areas, of trials and hard days.

There. Lay it down. Put up your feet, grab a cup of coffee, and sit back. 

Now let it go.

Wee Egan, practicing the art of relaxation--circa 2006

I think the truth in it is that we are supposed to love ourselves.
"Love alone lightens every burden, and makes rough places smooth. It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders all bitterness sweet and acceptable." --Thomas A. Kempis
Of course we are called to love Jesus first, and love one another--but we cannot forget the wisdom and grace in extending that same love to ourselves. 
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. --1 Corinthians 13:7 

I sat here this morning, the dawn of a very special boy's second birthday in our house, and wanted to send something profound and articulate out to the world. In this attempt, I realized how love has completely and wholly changed me. I never knew this kind of love existed. I thought I did, but once Amos smiled and giggled his way into my heart two years ago--extra chromosome and all--I realized I knew nothing. And Jesus gently and lovingly took me by the hand and showed me the real love He had for me, for Joel, for this child--for all of us, and the love I was to grace on others.

I fail miserably many days. 

But that doesn't mean I don't extend myself some grace and forgiveness and get up and try, try again.

It doesn't mean I need to have it all together. No way.
But it does mean I need to lean hard onto Him--and allow His love to flow through me, onto others, and onto myself, imperfections and all.

I pray we all learn and experience that real, true love--the love that covers all wrongs, is patient, kind, and never fails.

I'm off to cuddle a sweet fresh two-year-old boy and a trio of other sweet babes with little feet in my house. 

Our hard working, joy-filled, two-year-old helper.

Jacob just woke up and joined me at the desk. I reminded him today is Amos's birthday--and he replied in sheer perfection, 
"Awesome. Is he two?"
Yes, Jacob, he's two today! 
(whispered) "Awesome. I gotta go see him. I can't talk to you right now."

Us--in the wedding photo booth. Perfection.

Awesome. Can't talk right now. Enjoy your day. Love yourself. xo


  1. Thanks for this Laura, we need to be reminded :)

  2. Bless you Laura. I so needed to be reminded of this tonight. My house is cluttered, I haven`t meal planned in over a year.....I mostly decidedly don`t have it all together! I feel so inadequate to be the keeper of this home, the mother of these live this life. Thank you dear sister-friend for reminding me that I don`t have to have it all together. That the most important thing in my life is Him. May I spend more time letting His love flow out from me to others rather than worrying that I don`t measure up. Little eyes are here and watching me...I so want them to see Him and His love rather than see a mum who frets/worries/gets upset over little things.

    And Happy Birthday Amos!!! What a love :) Enjoy your new *two* year old! Take care.

  3. How did I miss this post! ack!
    Very well said!
    and as for mr. Jacob? He's fantastic and I am glad that my girls know him (and the rest of your gang too!)

  4. Stumbled across your blog today (saw you on the cloth diaper exchange Facebook group) Had to share with you how inspiring it was to read your story as a fellow woman of God. So touched! I grew up with a cousin with downs and he is the most special boy ever! I am also a special Ed teacher and I can't even begin to tell you the amazing things I've seen some of my students accomplish. God clearly has a purpose for your life!

  5. Where are you? I miss your posts. I do hope you are well and just pre-occupied with enjoying life. Funny how the blog world works. I don't know you, but I do. Never met you but I feel connected. Take care. Come back.

  6. Love, Love, Love this post! And your blog! I also blog, but find myself taking huge breaks between posts. Life happens and I get side tracked. Anyway, your post on 'having it all together' was just what I needed today. I've recently returned to prayer and it's funny how this popped up just now. I have two kids, one just graduated from college and another from high school. It's so tough raising these children! And my husband has been out of work for four years (August 2008) so it's been rough. But you have inspired me. Thanks for your blog and sharing your story. I will be back. Cheers Genevieve (My last blog post just in case you have time to take a peek.


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