Thursday, May 24, 2012

on having it all together.

Do you ever wonder about those women who seem like they have it all together?
Do you have it all together?

I don't.

I'm not supposed to have it all together. And guess what? Neither are you.

If you are sensationally organized, joyful, full of love for your family and have no idea what I'm talking about--bless you. Bless you in your wisdom. Pray for us who aren't as far down the road yet.

Somehow there's a sense that as women, as mothers, as wives, we need to know that we aren't the only ones who don't have it all together. We need to hear it, read it, see it, or realize that someone else also doesn't have it all together just to validate that, in fact--having it all together is a myth, a fictional un-reality, and a home-wrecker. Or heart-wrecker, depending on your perspective. 

Sisters? I am here to validate you today. Nobody has it all togetherI don't know anyone who really has it all together when they have young children underfoot, or are being really honest. Even the ones I think have their lives beautifully organized, their faith is to be admired, they are active in community, their homes are clean and beautiful, their children (young or grown) are well-mannered, well-spoken, well-dressed, and their marriages are a thing of beauty--those women will still speak of struggle, of strife in other areas, of trials and hard days.

There. Lay it down. Put up your feet, grab a cup of coffee, and sit back. 

Now let it go.

Wee Egan, practicing the art of relaxation--circa 2006

I think the truth in it is that we are supposed to love ourselves.
"Love alone lightens every burden, and makes rough places smooth. It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders all bitterness sweet and acceptable." --Thomas A. Kempis
Of course we are called to love Jesus first, and love one another--but we cannot forget the wisdom and grace in extending that same love to ourselves. 
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. --1 Corinthians 13:7 

I sat here this morning, the dawn of a very special boy's second birthday in our house, and wanted to send something profound and articulate out to the world. In this attempt, I realized how love has completely and wholly changed me. I never knew this kind of love existed. I thought I did, but once Amos smiled and giggled his way into my heart two years ago--extra chromosome and all--I realized I knew nothing. And Jesus gently and lovingly took me by the hand and showed me the real love He had for me, for Joel, for this child--for all of us, and the love I was to grace on others.

I fail miserably many days. 

But that doesn't mean I don't extend myself some grace and forgiveness and get up and try, try again.

It doesn't mean I need to have it all together. No way.
But it does mean I need to lean hard onto Him--and allow His love to flow through me, onto others, and onto myself, imperfections and all.

I pray we all learn and experience that real, true love--the love that covers all wrongs, is patient, kind, and never fails.

I'm off to cuddle a sweet fresh two-year-old boy and a trio of other sweet babes with little feet in my house. 

Our hard working, joy-filled, two-year-old helper.

Jacob just woke up and joined me at the desk. I reminded him today is Amos's birthday--and he replied in sheer perfection, 
"Awesome. Is he two?"
Yes, Jacob, he's two today! 
(whispered) "Awesome. I gotta go see him. I can't talk to you right now."

Us--in the wedding photo booth. Perfection.

Awesome. Can't talk right now. Enjoy your day. Love yourself. xo

Friday, May 18, 2012


Just popping in quick-like this beautiful Friday morn.
My hair is full of color to keep the gray roots at bay, my desk littered with supplies to work with flowers for the Hubs' baby brother's wedding tomorrow... our home filled with family guests from across the country, here to witness the sharing of vows.

I am so honored to be bundling flowers, tying them with ribbon, love, hope and whispered prayers. 

Floral inspiration.


There is such a reverence in preparing for a wedding. The act of dressing for the day, the choices, the preparation of body, mind, and spirit. The deep breaths, the eventual walk up the aisle. The prayers, the tears, the butterflies. The joy. 

The love.

I've been working on a very simple study of 1 Corinthians 13 this week, part of a group I belong to called Hello Mornings. So this morning was very fitting to be up before my family, coffee in hand, thanking our Creator for life and love; and rejoicing in the joining of two young lives in one more sleep.

1 Corinthians 13

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Way of Love

13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.
 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Much love to you, Aaron & Kaiti. So proud. Love one another. Be joyful with one another. Serve each other selflessly. Hang on tight to that sparkly love you have for one another right now--you never know when you might need to pull it out to light the way through darker times.

Now I'm off to shower, pick up flowers, and start a day anew. 

Blessings to you this beautiful May long weekend.

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