Thursday, December 17, 2009

life as it sits, today

trying to get ready for Christmas - all the while being a mom of 3, pregnant, not sleeping, trying to work at work, trying not to miss too many shifts since we've been nearly the unluckiest family when it comes to seasonal viruses this year! so much vomit. yuck.

always feel like our little family is on the cusp of great change, and in that kind of 'limbo' place - the sensation that you aren't where you are supposed to be, or you are supposed to be preparing for the big change about to happen - only for us, it hasn't yet! you know that feeling? when you're moving house? boxes and mess and chaos everywhere, but you can't really clean it all up and pack it all away in cupboards and drawers and closets again, because you're moving!

that is, in a sense, how I've felt for the last 2 years or so. perplexing, intriguing, and unsettling all at the same time.

joel is probably a major reason for this as he really is on the cusp of change, as I say, every day, with all of his ideas and energy and drive, but then he seems to be feeling somewhat unsettled and not sure how to really incorporate work, wife, children, and family into his ideas for his life. still, we plug away. pray for us in the meantime, if we cross your mind.

so, I'm looking up recipes to make for my Christmas gifts - sponge toffee, homemade turtles, homemade summer sausage, and i am hoping to share my attempts, successes, or lack thereof on both counts, here.

all the while trying (somewhat much, MUCH more reluctantly at times than others) to wean our little 1 year old from breastfeeding and teaching him to sleep through the night while growing our new baby, sweet new little #4 in utero - currently 15 weeks? almost? and the big kids are getting so excited for Christmas, family gatherings, and the fact that it isn't -40 degrees outside here the past few days. what a blessing!

no one will read this but me, but nonetheless, I need to reach out, so here I am. take it as you may.

1 comment:

make no mistake, I am smitten with your words. please say hello, or pour something out - you will make my heart happy.

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